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Schnifty27
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Name: Sarah
Birthday: 7/20/1984
Gender: Female
Interests: hm... I love Jesus a lot, my family, my friends, my pets... I like: music, photography, reading, cooking, sewing, nursing gross stuff, mashed potatoes, missions, writing, yellow and purple, su doku, cross-stitching, football :) ... I think that is a good start on the many different things that I am interested in.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Medical
Message: message me
AIM:  schnifty27
MSN: schnifty27@aol.com
Member Since:
6/6/2004
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| I cannot believe how different life is now as opposed to how it was two years ago when I last posted on xanga. Since then I have graduated from college, obtained my nursing license, held a job as a NICU nurse for a year and half, bought a house, adopted 2 cats and a dog, and talked a couple friends into moving to Virginia and becoming my roommates. I'm not sure exactly why Xanga became so low on my priority list, but I am relatively certain that it had to do with the fact that it appeared that no one read it anymore. Facebook and Myspace were all the rage and now Twitter is starting to take over. I must say that as shallow as it all may seem, it really has played a pivotal role in helping me to stay in touch with a lot of people. I am pretty grateful for that. It was fun reading through some of my old posts on here. Some of them sound pretty deep and others just sound ridiculous. I am sure I will look back on this post in a couple years and just laugh at myself. By that time I probably won't have this site up anymore. You never really know. That is all I have to say for now. Maybe I will write again in another two years or so :) | | |
| With all of the triangles, squares and octagons going on I am what I always have been and probably what I will be for a long time... a little dot. I don't know why that bothers me as much as it does. It really shouldn't and it normally doesn't, but tonight it really does. Hopefully I can sleep it off.
Ashley introduced me to this one song that I really love by Taylor Swift called Teardrops On My Guitar... it's good...
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| well I have certainly been on a long hiatus from posting land. I think it has been good though because I am fairly sure that the only reason I wrote some of those posts was to get attention which is really not the best reason to share your feelings. This might seem stupid to a lot of people, but my goal is to write this without caring if anyone comments or cares. The reason I say that is I realize that I have been placing a lot of my identity in what other people think of me and not in what my identity truly is. I am so grateful for what Wendy West said in chapel on friday... it was something I needed to hear. I am not defined by my past, my family, my friends, my status, my job, or anything else like that. Who I am depends on only one thing... who I am in Christ. Knowing that does not make all of my insecurities go away, but it does give me something to hold onto when my life seems pointless.
Let's see... what did I want to talk about next? I am home for the weekend so I get to hang out with my mom, John, Bonnie, and her roommate Lisa for the next couple days. The drive home was pretty eventful (not quite as eventful as the time Ashley basically ended up underneath the seat with Shannan on the dashboard) but still there was more excitement than usual. First off can you say torrential downpour? It rained really hard... and nobody knows how to drive in the rain so I had to go like 45 mph forever... that was annoying. And then there was an accident which resulted in me and a couple hundred of my closest friends sitting behind a tollbooth for nearly an hour. To pass the time I made some random phone calls, organized my phone book, and started writing a song. By the end of the drive though, the sun was shining and the trees shone in all of their blooming glory. If anyone wants me to bring them a dogwood flower just let me know... we have a white tree and a pink tree in my yard. I have also discovered that my cat hates me... kind of sad really. I guess that is what comes with never being at home.
*and cue topic change* (I need to work on my transitional sentences) I have been considering the cost of honesty lately. I don't regret being honest with people at all, I just don't really like the vulnerability that comes with it. That probably makes no sense to anyone but me... oh well
I want to thank all of you who have been a blessing in my life... I really hope you know how much you mean to me
I think that is all that is on my heart to say...
p.s. my mom makes some pretty amazing sweet tea
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| So lately I have been thinking a lot about life, love, the future, God... and I think it has been good. There are some times when I look at life and it reminds me of Ecclesiastes: Life is meaningless, a chasing after the wind. Times like that I feel like I don't know what my purpose is. Why has God put me in this place? What am I doing here? I find myself questioning the path I am on and whether it will ever lead me in the right direction. Last night though, God challenged me... he showed me all the things he has done with my life so far. When I came to college I had no idea what was in store for me. I never imagined the situations and people he would bring into my life to bless my life. It made me realize that I should stop questioning God and start trusting him. He has never let me down before. He has brought me more than I could have wished for, why do I limit what he can do with my future? Why do I constantly try to take back control? When I have control all I do is worry and complain about how everything is not working. I need to give it up to him because I know that when I do he will provide exactly what is needed. I worry about losing friends... but he has put people in my life who will be friends forever. I worry about being lonely when I leave school... but he knows the people who are there and who are going to become a part of my life. I worry about ever finding a husband... but God already knows who he is and he preparing both of us for each other. I am saying this mostly to reassure myself. I may not know what is going to happen, but He does and that should be enough for me...
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| I absolutely love this song... I didn't realize how much until lately.
"Strong Enough" by Stacie Orrico
As I rest against
this cold hard wall,
will you pass me by?
Will you criticize me as I sit and cry?
I had fought so hard and thought that
all my battles had been won
Only to find the war had just begun
Chorus:
Is He not strong enough?
Is He not pure enough?
To break me, pour me out and start again?
Is He not brave enough?
To take one chance with me
Please can I have one chance to start again
Will my weakness
fall and and now make
me suffer for a lifetime?
Is there any way to be made whole again
If I be renewed and find forgiveness
by the strength I've never had
Will my scars forever ruin all God's plans?
Chorus
He took my life
into His hands
And turned it all around
In my most desperate circumstance,
is where I'm finally found
That You are strong
enough
That You are pure enough
To break me, pour me out and start again
That You are brave enough
To take one chance on me,
Oh thank You for my chance to start again
Thank you God for being strong enough... thank you for my chance to start again
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